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Eu sou tão estúpida.
Procuro as respostas dos meus anseios e problemas em filmes, livros e música.
Acho que me deixei cegar de uma maneira que hoje paro e penso que eu só estou vivendo e não to sentindo nada.
Quando eu acho que sinto dói …

Brain Damage

The lunatic is on the grass.
The lunatic is on the grass.
Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs.
Got to keep the loonies on the path.

The lunatic is in the hall.
The lunatics are in my hall.
The paper holds their folded faces to the floor
And every day the paper boy brings more.

And if the dam breaks open many years too soon
And if there is no room upon the hill
And if your head explodes with dark forebodings too
I’ll see you on the dark side of the moon.

The lunatic is in my head.
The lunatic is in my head
You raise the blade, you make the change
You re-arrange me ‘till I’m sane.

You lock the door
And throw away the key
There’s someone in my head but it’s not me.
And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear
You shout and no one seems to hear.
And if the band you’re in starts playing different tunes
I’ll see you on the dark side of the moon.

"I can’t think of anything to say except…
I think it’s marvellous! HaHaHa!”

A letter for a friend.

I miss you part of me. My life is sucks without you.

Sometimes i think that I declared your death too early. Sometimes I think if was a better idea to take you off my life. I miss the all the crazyness and that “I don’t care ” way of thinking . Anyway, at least you made ​​me happy for a few moments.

I keep thinking if that regret that I used to feel when I waked up with the BIGGEST  hungover from the last night was really worth something. 

But you ALWAYS make me feel a human trash, the worst person in the world on the next day - ALWAYS questioning - WHY I Did that? 

You were never there for me when I was feeling empty and thinking that the best thing I can do is die. Dying was really good idea for me that time. Only you had good time with boys . I NEVER.

Even when the “fluid” was not running in my veins sometimes you showed up yourself and had your fun. I ALWAYS regretted everything I had done when I came home.  Is sucks to deal with sobriety alone. The way home was always the hardest time.

Now I’m here, depressed, still feeling that I’m the worst human being in the world. 

4 antidepressants  is helping me to face people and my friends. A book is the only thing that is taking my mind out for a while.

I have to let you go. You are a part of me that have to bury.


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